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The 12 Steps to Creating Divorce-Proof Marriages

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Author: Ken Donaldson

Article source: Used with author's permission.

Know yourself, Engage yourself and Marry yourself

  • Define your Life Purpose
  • Discern and live by your Values and Priorities
  • Create your Life Vision and Life Mission Statement
  • Develop a Legacy that will live forever

Create a Balanced Lifestyle

  • Set Boundaries and eliminate energy drains
  • Create a proactive Self Maintenance program
  • Evaluate and Inventory your lifestyle weekly

Surround yourself with Supportive Networks and Communities

  • Seek out like-minded and like-valued people
  • Create Accountability agreements with others
  • Avoid negative situations and environments

Know your Requirements and Needs

  • Create and live by your "Deal Makers" and "Deal
  • Breakers"
  • Make direct requests to get your needs met
  • Always be true to yourself

Take your work in life seriously, but take life lightly

  • Practice being flexible, fluid, and accepting
  • Avoid trying to "push the river"
  • Express your passion in life with the utmost of passion

Understand the healthy romantic relationship developmental process

  • Create the criteria for your Life Partner
  • Develop "Screening" and "Testing" strategies
  • Use your support system for feedback and input

Define your personal Spirituality

  • Discover and walk your Spiritual Path
  • Practice daily acts to activate your "Highest Self"
  • Accept life on life's terms

Be perfectly imperfect

  • Know your character challenges and work to strengthen those areas
  • Accept all your errors, mis-takes and failures
  • Practice non-judgment of yourself and all others

Live from Abundance

  • Practice daily acts of 'Random Kindness"
  • Develop a "Pay it Forward" system in your life
  • Create an affirming, fear-less inner dialogue

Be an Excellent Communicator

  • Practice Active Listening as often as possible
  • Commit to creating a "Win-Win" outcome with others
  • Learn to process emotions, conflict and disagreements

Get out of your comfort zone

  • Learn to accept all your uncomfortable feelings and emotions
  • Practice deliberate daily acts of new behavior
  • Celebrate discomfort as healthy growth and development

Consciously Breathe and Smile

  • Learn to be Silly
  • Develop Breathing Exercises to enhance your Mind, Body, Heart and Soul
  • "Fake it til you make it": Smile until you are happy

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!

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